All Is Fair With Love And Shortmans
by writergirl97
Summary: Drabbles, ficlets, one-shots; what ever you care to call them is what they are. Go ahead and read. Pairings range from the legendary HelgaXArnold, to PhilXSarah, to pairings that shouldn't even be. But hey. Anything goes with the Shortman family around.
1. Height

**Okay, so this is verrrrry short and a horrible kick off for my new multi-chap Hey Arnold! thing. So I'm just going to do the disclaimer now and keep it in mind for the rest of the story, alright? I DO NOT OWN ZACH, HAM, PHIL, AMANDA, CHRIS, OR ANY OTHER HEY ARNOLD! CREW. I do own Sarah though. RESPECT THE OWNAGE! I'll be having more of a rant at the end, so stay tuned! ^.^**

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There was a slight thud of footsteps as Sarah Bennette walked into the room. The first thing Phil notice, though, was her height. Had she grown like, what, 5 inches since last night?

His green eyes flew to her feet to find wedges grasping to her. It had two black straps, one over the toes and the other over the more upper part of her foot, with buckles pointing outward. He snaked his way up her long legs to find only pale short shorts and then a tight-fitting black and dark green tee. Sarah's hair was pulled into a side fishtail and you could definitely see her green bow poking up behind her head.

"Wow! Sarah, you look astonishing!" Sophie gushed, pulling away from Zach. "Your make-up looks very nice, too. I love your shoes." A bright grin was flashed between them but was broken when Sarah turned to Phil for an opinion.

He glanced at her and prayed that it wasn't obvious that his heart was beating incredibly fast within his chest. In a monotone, the Shortman stated, "Your hair is messed up."

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**A/N: See? Short 'n' horrible. TOLD YA! But as for my rant, well, do not blame me for the title of this thing. Blame the 9:30 PM. If you have any suggestions for names go ahead and tell me.  
Honestly. Don't be shy. I'd appreciate it. And if any of you want to make an OC to be added into this, just ask! The more the merrier!**

**So don't forget to review, my lovelies. Mandy Moore and I would appreciate it! (Oh, I don't own her either!)**


	2. Dinner: Phil V Chris part 1

**I only own Sarah. This is part one! Enjoy**

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Today wasn't a good day for Amanda Faith. That morning she woke up late, barely had time to grab her lunch and almost missed the bus. Then during recess, she was pushed into a huge puddle of mud and lost her bow. Now she was just arriving home with _Chris_ of all people by her side. She wasn't in the mood.

The car door slammed behind her and she heard it resounded by Chris stepping out as she ran up and into her home. "Hey 'manda." She heard her oldest brother Zach smile to her when she shoved past him violently and treaded up the stairs. Usually she'd never be rude to _anyone_ like that, but, hey. Friday the 13th was never the best of days for her.

In her room at last, she stripped her clothes and changed into something nice and warm and cozy. That immediately put her at ease. With a brush in hand, she undid her pigtails and brushed her hair out until it was silky. She didn't even bother trying to get her hair back up. Once she got her bearings and was more or less herself, she headed down stairs to face _another_ dinner with the jerk known as Christian.

So far, she's had three dinners with him all thanks to her dad. I mean, she loved her daddy and all, but he was an idiot and a sadist for doing that to her. He of all people should know what it's like.

"Hey Piggy, where'd you run off to?" Chris sneered at her once she entered the living room and immediately Amanda's hands balled into fists.

Despite it all, she managed to smile at him and said, "Just cleaning up."

"Such an impossible task for you, isn't it?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Phil snapped and Amanda Faith just _knew_ Chris was about to get an earful. So naturally, she plopped down on the couch to get the best seat. "That's my sister you're talking to! I may not like her very much, and what you're saying _may_ be a little true, but that doesn't mean I'll stand for it! Don't mess with my family, got it runt?"

Phillip plopped down on the floor and turned to watch TV. He was nearly out of breath from that rant. Huh. He seems to be getting out of shape. Might as well make up for it now. "AND ANOTHER THING!" The dark haired Shortman jumped up and glared at the intruder, er, _guest_. "What the heck is with this channel? Zach, the idiot, gave you the remote to pull an Amanda and be nice, but I guess he made a mistake because what you chose _sucks_. Like you. 'Cuz _you_ suck." A sound intruded his speech then and he turned to the TV set with eyes as big as saucers. "Oooo! Casablanca!"

He scuttled to in front of the set and out of no where pulled out a stuffed elephant and hugged it to his chest. His legs were pulled to him and he squealed. Yeah that's right. The great Phillip Robert Craig Shortman _squealed_ over an old romance movie.

As can be expected, Zachary "Brow" Shortman had pulled out his iPod touch and was snapping picture after picture of blackmail. Not that Phil noticed, of course. I mean, Casablanca was on! C'mon!

"So…." Chris managed weakly. I mean, after that explosion how else could the 8 year old respond?

"So." Amanda's reply was curt. She did _not_ want to talk to him. She didn't even want to be in the same hemisphere as him.

"Well, Piggy—"

"Stop calling me that." With her arms crossed and glare set, the older generation would have seen a mini-Helga and would've had a heart attack. But this generation was used to it and Chris opened his mouth to argue.

"Supper!" Helga pounced into the room and looked at everyone sort of shocked. Her daughter and the guest were nearly head to head, her spazzoid son was sitting in front of the TV like a mental patient, and her oldest was upside down on the arm chair texting. Ham, bless his soul, was up stairs. "Um…"

"Coming!" Everyone snapped. Helga blinked. And then blinked again.

With a set face, she said, "No. Now." With a swivel, she turned back into the kitchen to grab the plates. "And help me set up now, too!"

It took a minute to get everyone rolling, especially Phil. Poor kid was so attached to the TV, it was sad. But finally, every one was seated. "So—" Helga started to say when the phone started ringing.

An annoyed look crossed her face as she got up from her seat and went to get the phone. A moment later, the blonde strode into the room and chucked the phone at Phil. It hit him right in the forehead and almost landed in his mashed potatoes. Grumbling, he glared at his mother who just smiled at him politely and then took her seat.

"Hello?" He sighed into the phone and then almost immediately brightened. "Sarah!" Apparently, the female had said something that made Phillip slump against the seat for a moment and grumble, "I don't know… Somebody." He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, alright, whatever. But I'm going to have to call you back. I'm eating." Pause. "Yeah, yeah. You're sorry. I get it. Bye." Pause. "Bye." Smile. "Goodbye, Sarah. Yeah, love ya too." With a final twirl of the eyes, Phil went to put the phone away.

"I'm going to assume that was Sarah." Zach said somberly, and to his credit, he didn't laugh at all. Phil reentered the room and shot Zach a 'spare me' look.

"Was… that you're girlfriend?" Chris asked hesitantly. If that psycho actually had somebody then, maybe he wasn't as horrible as he seemed to be. Unless if she was like him, too. Then there'd be a problem. But instead of either accepting it or denying it, Phil's face scrunched up like he swallowed something sour, and then he made a disgusted sound.

Phil threw his fork on to his plate with a clang and he jumped up so fast that his chair fell. "What! That is insanely disgusting! Girls are horrible, evil, mindless creatures who are of no use to humanity! Except to enslave men and produce eating/crying/pooping machines. I. Hate. Girls." With that last growl, the short Shortman leaned and picked up his chair. Once that action was done, he quickly and quietly sat back down and shoveled food into his mouth.

Everyone was quiet for a minute; they were all used to his actions for the most part. But suddenly, an 8 year old voice broke the silence.

"So, you're gay then?"


	3. Dinner: Phil V Chris part 2

**Why, salutations, all! How are you? I suppose I should have waited a little bit so it would build suspense but…. It wouldn't feel right for me keeping this from you. So here it is! And this is all Craig Amazing Bartlett and SuprSingr's ownage here. None of mine :/ Hope you enjoy!**

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"So, you're gay then?" The seemingly innocent question echoed through the shocked air. Everyone glanced from the question-er, Chris, to the question-ee, Phil.

The look on Phillip's face was priceless. There could be no description for the pure shock that was painted on his features. If the situation wasn't so serious, Chris and especially Zach wouldn't have hesitated to laugh hysterically.

"You audacious little rat. You good for nothing low-life! How dare you not only insult me, but my honor?" Phil's chair screeched as it was flung back. He nearly jumped over the table in a fit of rage to tackle the boy. "You inconsiderate ass-wipe! Do you possess no brain cells? How can someone be as idiotic as you?" Phil had been slamming the kid's head down onto the floor with each word and only managed to stop when his words did.

"Ah. I see." Chris managed weakly.

"What?" Phil's green eyes were nothing but slits. "What do you see?"

"That not only are you gay, but you probably have a thing for one of your brothers." Brown eyes surveyed the family around him. "Probably the one with the uni-brow."

Immediately, fists and feet were thrown into the air as the two boys on the floor got into an all out fight. That set everyone else in motion.

The Shortmans had been in complete shock and only when the first sound of skin on skin did they really realize _someone was going to seriously get hurt._

Instantly, Ham and Zach pulled Phil away from the fight while their parents grabbed Chris. And since Amanda didn't know what to do, but wanted to be apart of it, stood in the gap between the two breathless boys.

"Stop!" She called uselessly, and it was lost amongst the insults and scolding.

"You're lucky they stopped me." Phil growled to the 8 year old. "Otherwise you'd be dead."

"You're just sour that I figured it out!"

The dark haired Shortman opened his mouth to snap something back, when Zachary just sighed and said, "Alright, you caught us."

While Chris looked smug, Phil looked devastated. "I swear on my young, poor soul that I have no idea what this nut job is saying."

"I may be a nut job, but I'm _your_ nut job." Zach cried sweetly to his little brother. _I wonder how _he_ liked being on the other end of the drama-stick?_

"The only thing you are to me is my brother, and I'm _still_ waiting for the DNA tests to prove me wrong!" Phillip exclaimed and wriggled out of his brothers' grasps.

"Guys!" Helga G Pataki Shortman had had _enough_ of this nonsense. "Phillip Robert Craig Shortman, go up to your room right this instant." Turning to her 'guest' she snapped, "Chris, go sit in the other room, now, please."

Once both of the boys left the room in opposite directions, everyone was able to breathe a collective sigh of relief. "Well, since dinner is now ruined, I guess I'll take Christian home." The football-headed father sighed and his wife nodded her agreement.

"I think that would be best." Helga murmured and she and Arnold shared a momentary kiss before he was whisked away by his duty.

"Well…. That was interesting." Ham murmured, still in the same position as a minute before.

Zachary snorted and then twirled toward his seat. "No shit, Sherlock. Newsflash; that's our family for ya."

As Ham was replying to the elder sibling, Amanda wandered into the other room to find Chris and her father about to leave. "Wait a moment!" 'manda Faith called as they were stepping out the door. "It's called being asexual." Chris blinked at her, mud eyes to water. The Shortman girl shrugged. "Not being interested in guys or girls is asexual. And…." She struggled for her words before looking him in his eyes. "I'm glad Phil didn't hurt you too bad."

He was stunned. No body ever really cared that much for him. "Oh… well, thanks. And," He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a slightly mud stained pink bow and handed it to her. "I found this at the end of recess. It's yours, so take it."

"Oh, thank you Chris!" She pulled him into her gratefully and hugged him tightly. With a kiss on the cheek, she turned and jetted away.

"C'mon kid." Arnold said with a laugh hinted at in his voice. He pulled his student outside and then over to his car. Arnold had to admit; no matter what, he loved his family.

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**A/N: Yo. Do you loooove? I know _I_ looove. But I mean c'mon. No matter what Chris says, we ALL know who our little Phil is going to end up with in the end. :3**

**Wanna see my gallery?: .com/**

**Enjoy it, my dears. It posses a magnitude of Hey Arnold! paraphernalia with more on the way! The fics are strictly for here, though. THERE is for the drawings.**

**And I have a very interesting but complex idea involving the Shortman family, Chris and Sarah. **

_**REVIEW**_

**If you want to know what it is and**

_**REVIEW**_

**If you liked this. Also, please **

_**REVIEW**_

**If you want me to update another chappie soon!**


	4. Peas, Please!

**Hey, y'all! 'Tis me! I'm sorry I was unable to update yesterday, but, well, it is what it is. And I'm sorry to say but as soon as spring break is over, my updates would be less frequent. :( So that is why I'm dedicating today and tomorrow and Sunday all to getting as much Hey Arnold! fanfiction and drawings done as possible. And I'll also be starting a HUGE Hey Arnold! related project that will probably take me months. Wanna know what it is? Review after this with the word "Rabbits" and not only will I tell you, but I can add you into a story! Maybe, kinda, possibly. I'm making this up as I go along, obviously. Oh, and this installment is set after one of my other fanfictions, What If. So, enjoy!**

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Dinner at the Shortman household had always been… eccentric. Tonight was no exception.

The family had all sat down with their guest sitting incredibly close to her boyfriend. Not that Phil really minded that much. By now, his family knew about their relationship and he wasn't hearing the end of it from his brother Zach.

"Daww." Zach drawled sweetly and made his hands into the shape of a heart and looked at the young couple through it. "You see? I always knew you two would be together. When's the wedding?"

"Idiot." Phil chucked a green pea at the oldest Shortman and it hit him right between the eyes.

"Hey, it was a valid question!" The blonde raised his arms in defense and Sarah chuckled.

"It's too true, love." Sarah shrugged at her boyfriend and then turned to his brother. "He hasn't even proposed yet. Imagine! But any who, when are you and Sophie going to marry? I mean, I'm sure your parents want grandkids soon."

Half of the black brow raised and Zach gained a look of amusement. "Oh, I'm sure we can work on the last part."

"Zachary!" His mother scolded, turning away from her small conversation with her husband.

"Oh, save it, Helga. We both know that even though I'm a screw-up, I'm not _that_ irresponsible!" With a final hard look, the woman turned away and managed to miss what he murmured under his breath. "I always have protection."

Ham _did_ catch that and almost snorted his milk back out of his nose. "Dude!" Joyous amusement bubbled from Ham's lips as he laughed. Zach smirked at the havoc he wreaked with barely four words.

"It is what it is." The teen shrugged and then turned back to the 11 year old lovers. "And, they won't have to worry about grandkids. We have _you_ _two_, too. I'm sure you both will be going at it like rabbits soon enough."

"Zach!" This time, both parents scolded him.

"What? You know it's true! Sex tends to go hand in hand with romance." Zachary then smirked and leaned onto the table. With his head resting on his hands, he fluttered his eyelashes at his parents. "Isn't that how _we_ came to be?"

Arnold's eyes bulged at his son's audacity, and his mouth hung open like a fish gasping for water. Helga, on the other hand, was trying to grab her wits for a sharp reply and silently cursing motherhood for making her soft.

Before anything else was said, Amanda budded in with, "So Chris got an A on his math test."

All eyes turned to her. Suddenly, Arnold's face broke out into a smile, "That he did, 'manda! I'm so proud of him." Phil's lip curled with disgust at the mention of that demonic 8 year-olds' name. Chris and Phil never really did see eye to eye. Especially after the 'Gay Incident'.

At that point, everyone broke off into different conversations. Everything was going good and nice and normal (like human-normal, not Shortman-normal, since there was a guest) when something disastrous happened at the end of dinner.

Helga had done the impossible. She had told Phil to finish his peas. The child looked up from his plate to his mother with aghast. "_What_… did you just say to me?"

"Finish your peas." Helga was glancing down at her final bit of meat that she speared and then when she brought it up into her mouth, her eyes rose to meet her son's.

"What ludicrous was spoken! How dare you insult me? Why would I commit such a blasphemy? The peas are a gate way to Hades, more potent than poison. Asking me to finish those infernal peas are the same as commanding me to stab a dagger through my poor, young heart!" With each sentence, he raised an octave until he was yelling at the top of his lungs. "You could not have wished a worse fate upon me! Your irreverence for my well-being is astonishing! How dense could a woman be? You are a wench! A good for nothing wench with a sick fetish for my displeasure! Your sadistic tendencies make me wonder how we are still in your care for you—"

"Phil. Phil!" Sarah had been attempting to gain the boys' attention and only somehow then managed to receive it.

"What?" He turned and snapped at her to find that her face was merely a centimeter away from his. The anger washed out of him as he matched his eyes to hers. With a small smile, she slowly pulled away from the close proximity and turned to her plate.

Glancing at Phil from the corner of her eye, she murmured, "I'll have your peas."

_Huh?_ Phil was taken off of his guard and detachedly he repeated his thought aloud.

"I'll have your peas. I like them, so if you don't want them, they shouldn't be wasted." She brought her full fork to her lips and dropped the load of said vegetable into her mouth.

Sarah then reached over onto Phillip's plate when suddenly, his fork blocked hers. "No…. I'll have them." He said simply and to show her, the small green spheres were plopped into his mouth. And then pea green eyes widened as Phil looked to his girlfriend with astonishment on his features.

"Are… are you sure these are peas?"

"Of course! Why?" She giggled at his naïveté.

"Because… these are good."

"And _you_ said you'd never let a girl control you." Zach scoffed suddenly bringing the couple's eyes over to the smug blonde.

"Dude. He just came off of 'rant' mode. Please, hon. Don't." The Bennette rolled her eyes and then got up to put her plate in the sink where Helga and her husband already were.

"She isn't controlling me." Phil defended himself quietly, stuffing the last bit of infernal yet delicious peas into his mouth.

"Uh huh, sure." Zach hummed.

"So," Sarah said once she walked into the room. "Now that dinner is done, why don't you and I go up to your room and… hang." She pulled on her lover's hand with a wink to accentuate the last word, and they were off.

"Called it! Just. Like. Rabbits."


	5. Fooling Around

**A/N: As y'all can tell, or will be able to tell, this takes place a couple years in the future from our original time period. Enjoy! This is for ha-has only. Oh and only SuprSingr owns the Shortman kids, Craig Bartlett owns Hey Arnold!, the original characters and the whole Hey Arnold! idea thing-er majigger. I own Sarah :3 CUZ I'M JUST THAT AWESOME!**

**[yeah, just go ahead and read now]**

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A yawn. All it was was a yawn. Nothing special, but now suddenly, Sarah's energy seemed drained. With bleary eyes, she glanced at the clock on her boyfriend's wall and saw that it was near midnight.

Pulling out her phone, she texted her parents good night. From the time that Sarah had arrived earlier that day until then, it had snowed so much that you couldn't even get out the door. Thankfully, her parents trusted her enough to be staying there. (AKA they had no other option.)

Helga and Arnold Shortman had been okay with her stay; she was like a daughter to them. They had planned to keep her downstairs but there was a window that had been broken (thanks to Zach) and they didn't want her freezing so they had to bunk the Bennette up with Amanda.

Obviously, Sarah had snuck out and into Phil's room. 'manda Faith had been dead asleep, along with the 'rents, and only Zach knew of the trickery. He had muttered something about being like rabbits when he shut his door as she past.

This leads us to now, with Sarah straying away from the video game console to the bed, where she lifted the covers and snuggled into the warmth.

"C'mon Phil…. Cuddle with me." Another yawn escaped rose petal lips as the Shortman whipped around and glared at her.

"No! Never! The great Phillip Robert Craig Shortman does NOT cuddle."

~HA!~HA!~HA!~

"I cannot believe I'm cuddling." The green-eyed 13-year-old groaned as Sarah's head furrowed further into his chest.

"Hey," Her muffled, sleepy voice called, "look on the bright side! At least you can tell your friends we've slept together now."

With a smirk, Phillip snorted and with his beloved almost asleep in his arms, he whispered in her ear, "You don't think I've been doing that all along?"

_**SMACK!**_


	6. Love Type1

**Okay, so there are two ways Phil could act like in love; Like Helga, regular, mean, but still sweet and passionate; or like Arnold, crazy, love-sick and annoying. This is the Arnold version. :3**

"Sarah!" A love-sick voice was calling to her from down the hall and people moved out of the way to let the boy run pass. Sarah was standing in front of her now open locker and was half wishing Phil would just _keep walking_.

She wanted space. No, she _needed_ it. Don't get her wrong; she loves him with every fiber of her being, but she hated that he was clinging to her. It just wasn't him.

_Oh, but it is._ She thought in her mind when Phil turned her into him and planted a breath-taking kiss on her. Mhm. This made all his infuriating tendencies worth it. Whose fault is it that he's passionate? It was ever-so endearing.

It doesn't matter if her boyfriend _had_ to have her by his side every possible moment of the day or if he blew a gasket if the girl was with any body of the opposite gender. And who cares if he kept trying to get her attention in class? Or if he could keep his hands off of her (in a not all the time sexual way)?

"Here." The Shortman murmured after he pulled away. "I picked you these!" There was a sparkle in his [beautiful, gorgeous] eyes as he pulled a small bouquet of daffodils from behind his back.

"Oooo! Phil, they're perfect." Sarah gently held the flowers in her hands and inhaled their scent and tried to imprint that moment in her mind. Slowly, she brought her eyes to his in awe. "You're perfect."

Phillip flashed her a cocky grin and pulled her in close to rub noses together. "No. _We _are. Best. Power. Couple. Ever."

**Besides Helga and Arnold, of course xD**

**Review?**


	7. The Talk

**Huh. It's been a while! I'm so sorry! But I've had to do my rehearsal and then there was the actual PLAY. Oh, didn't you know? I was a village woman in the musical Cinderella! It was pretty legit xD**

**Oh, by the way, I nearly pulled a Phil a few times. Yeah, you know what I mean. The whole increasing in volume, long-winded rants. I started to do that in the middle of the store but I managed to catch myself. I mean, honestly guys. Be careful. If you write one, you can't stop doing it. It's addictive D:**

**I only own Sarah!**

**Oh, btw, SuprSingr, if you're reading this….. _UPDATE, DAMMIT!_ D':**

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"Give it back!" The little Amanda Faith Shortman shrieked at her brother Phil. He was standing high up on the chair with her pink journal just out of reach. And if he read what was in there…..

"Now, why would I do that?" The dark haired youth smirked upon the female and casually the book flopped open on to a random page.

"_The days no longer short,_

_The night no longer long_

_The sweetest look upon thine eye_

_Makes my heart leap into song_." As soon as Phillip ended his recitation, he collapsed into laughter. This gave the angered and embarrassed Shortman enough time to snatch the book back and then to scuttle out of the room.

"Yo! Philly cheese steak!" The great Zachary Shortman grumbled at his hysterical brother. "Sit down and eat before you have a fit."

"Give me… A second!" Phil gasped and then grabbed his bearings. Once all was 'normal' (and I use that term lightly), he sat back down and continued to eat his toaster strudel.

"So, how was school yesterday?" The question was thrown into the air as their mother entered the room.

"I don't know. That was yesterday. Why do you think I _remember_ that long ago?" Zach admonished the Pataki-Shortman, who just flicked him in the ear as she passed.

"I would've asked, but after the Incident…." Helga's voice trailed off bitterly as the three of them froze in what they were doing and shuttered. "But anyhow! Phil. School. Yesterday?"

The green-eyed eleven year-old shrugged and shoveled the last bit of food into his mouth. "Eh. I got my English test back. We were in the computer lab for History. We started sex ed. Oh!" With sudden animation, he turned to his mother and beamed. "Sarah had almost tripped in recess, but I saved her."

Helga shot her son a sweet glance and said, "I'm proud." She then turned her attention back to making her infamous French toast, much to the disdain of the entire family. The last time she did that, they couldn't get out the smell of smoke from the house for nearly two months.

Zach snorted and kept looking down at his decreasing cereal. Phil's head whipped over to his brother and he glared at the blonde with dissatisfaction.

"What?" Came the sharp, suspicious question.

"Oh, nothing. It's just that…. Sex ed? I mean, have you even….?" The oldest intoned the younger, who just stared at him confused.

"Have I…. what?"

"You know…. Gone through puberty?"

Phil's eyes opened wide and his mouth fell in surprise. "How… dare you even ask me that!" As he struggled for words, the other two in the room braced themselves for an explosion. "You… I just…. What gives you the right to inquire such a personal thing? What gives you the audacity? How can you sleep at night?"

"Oh please! All you're doing is proving to me that you haven't." Charcoal eyebrows were obviously raised at the statement.

"And why is it important to you if I have or have not?"

"Oh, just making sure that you and Sarah wouldn't do anything too risqué."

"Zach!" The mother turned then, having enough of the conversation, and was wagging the wet, cinnamon-y spatula at them. "Stop it, both of you!"

"Sorry, mom." The siblings murmured with slight shame as they looked down and away.

"Humph. Good." Smiling at their agreement, she was back to flipping.

"And plus, if Sarah and I wanted to do anything too…. Well, anything, why do you think we'd let something stop us?" Phil whispered in his brother's ear and then went to place his red plate in the sink.

"Yeah… you're _definitely_ my little brother!" Zach praised as Phillip came to sit back in his seat to continue their conversation.

"Huh?" Helga's head swiveled and she glared.

"Nothing!" Sweet soaked smiles were flashed her way, and with a grumble, she turned off the burner.

"So, what do you know already about S-E-X?" The last word was spelled out and Zachary was honestly wondering what his little brother knew of the very intriguing physical hobby he longed to pursue.

"Um…" A red hue crept up the eleven year-old's neck and soon overwhelmed his face. "Well, I know it's when two people, wh-who love each other…. Do it. And yeah."

"Well, how do they, quote, 'do it'?"

"Can you at least wait until you're poor mother leaves the room?" And with a flash, said woman had vanished.

"Finally." Zach huffed and then turned back to his victim. "Well?"

"W-well, a guy has a…. and he sticks it in the g-girl's…. and they keep doing that until they finish."

A thoughtful look crossed the blonde's face. "Hmm… very vague, but you've got the gist of it."

In the small but very awkward silence that followed, Ham sauntered into the room and sensed the atmosphere. As he beheld the looks on his brother's faces, he swiftly turned and jetted out of the room.

Phil's mouth opened to say something when the doorbell cut into his speech (much to his hidden relief). "I'll get it!"

He reached the door in a matter of seconds, and it swung open to reveal a tall, dark haired, golden eyed, eleven year-old girl.

"Sarah!" The voice was exclaimed. It would've simply made her smile, except that it was unexpectedly a higher octave than normal.

With a giggle, the Bennette stepped into the house and silently closed the door behind her. "What's with your voice?"

"I—" It broke again, much to the boy's chagrin. "I'm not sure."

"Puberty, I'm tellin' ya!" Zach smirked as he passed by the two friends on his way to the stairs. He paused as soon as he was past them, and with a snap of his fingers, he turned and looked vaguely regretful. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Similar to a whip being cracked, the younger boy questioned him.

"Well, now you two cannot be allowed to be alone together. I mean, I want to be an uncle, but not so soon!"

Phil tried to formulate an answer, but was beat to it by Sarah. With a sigh, she crossed her lips and pouted. "Aww, but _Zach!_ Where's the fun in that? I mean, _now_ what are we going to do?"

"I'm sorry for you're loss." The 16 year old said sincerely and then jetted away and up the stairs.

The guest then turned to her friend with a small smile. "C'mon lover boy. Let's give 'em something to read about." With her hand hooked around his collar, she dragged him into the comfy and empty living room to… well, do what ever it is they do.


	8. Love Type2

Sarah!" A sudden and sweet voice was calling to her from down the hall and people were shoved out of the way to let the boy pass. Sarah was standing in front of her now open locker and was just turning when the Shortman suddenly moved up close to her. "Hey. How is your day so far?"

She grinned at her love and pulled out a lunch bag. "I don't know. You tell me; you were there for all of it!"

"Yeah, well," Phillip adjusted his back pack as the metal locker slammed close and they started walking. "That doesn't mean it couldn't have been bad."

"Hmm... True." She altered her bag so that it was just in one hand, the one opposite of Phil.

"Of course it is." A small roll of the eyes occurred and his hand nudged into hers.

In a moment, they were at the threshold of the cafeteria and wouldn't be able to get a moment alone until later on. The 6th graders looked at one another shyly and Phil pulled Sarah in sharply for a quick, passionate kiss which as soon as he pulled away, left her weak-kneed.

He glanced at the girl over his shoulder and with a smirk, called, "Aren't you coming?"

**A/N: Well, Phil _is_ Helga's kid for a reason, right? Obviously this is the 'Helga' version of his possible love type thing-er. And YES, I'm aware that this is short, but what of it? This is still juicy goodness, so don't hate; appreciate!**


	9. The Color Purple

**Yeah, I only own Sarah. Supr owns [my beloved] Phillip Shortman. Enjoy!**

* * *

There were many reasons why Phillip Robert Craig Shortman wore the color green. It was his favorite.

He always like sitting back and watching his older brother Ham dominate the field as he stole base to base. The green surrounding and engulfing the kids was easy on his eyes and when it caught the golden sunlight, it looked almost like it was glowing.

It also matched his eyes. Not that he's ever really cared about that; but his mother ingrained in his mind to always match. There were no ifs, ands, or buts. And plus, it didn't hurt that he happened to look good.

There was one more reason why he liked the color green. It was _her_ favorite color. Sarah's. She always came in, no matter what she wore, with her big green bow on her head. One time she came dressed in yellow. It unnerved him; it didn't look right on her, not natural. Green was natural.

She was the reason why he didn't wear green any more. How could he, a humble human being, wear the color of a goddess? It was inappropriate. Blasphemous, almost. She had almost _reserved_ that color for herself. It belonged to her, the way purple belonged to him.

And purple _did_ belong to him. He couldn't stand to wear the color of his eyes, not only because of Sarah, but because of his class mates. They were cruel, poking him and bullying him, saying how it was just _so_ cute that his little girlfriend matched.

And that was all before she really _was_ his girlfriend. So how else was he supposed to react, but to shove it all away? So he chose the next best thing; the color of flowers, of a hazy sunset or rise. The color purple.

He liked it. It was also easy on his eyes, and he loved the way the purple wax dripped off of the candle burning so brightly, the bottom of the flame was blue. He loved the glossy feel of amethyst beneath his fingertips as he touched every possible inch of the crystal. He nearly felt the power pour into him.

That, too. Power. That's what purple symbolized, didn't it? Power and royalty. That sounded about right.

So purple was a great color. He had many reasons to love it. Why shouldn't he? Why shouldn't you?

But…. If one of those reasons was because of one day before he turned 8, when Sarah had came up to him during recess with a stupid grin on her face and giggled lightly, oh so lightly, into her silken hand, and said how she loved his new purple shirt and that it looked great on him, then…. That's his business.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, short, I'm aware. It's just a quick little thought I came up with a few minutes ago while brushing my hair, and BAM! Homework be damned, this had to be done :3**

**Oh, BY THE WAY, thank you EVER SO much to Isabella Pataki. Like, omg, a FAN! It's crazy! No other way to describe this feeling but euphoric. It's like a child, eating peanut butter for the first time! You just swell with love and gratitude. And, if you're allergic to peanuts, then you _literally_ swell... But I digress.**

**So I'm thinking of doing a Q&A with Helga, Arnold, their kids, Sarah, Sophie and Pam! (Omg, I didn't expect that to just escape my fingers!) But there! It's been written! And so mote it be. And, um... Supr...? Can I ask you something...? If I actually go through with this Q&A... you wanna help me write it and spread the word, so we could get questions asked so we could answer? I mean, if you're busy, I COMPLETELY understand if you don't want to. But pwetty pwease? **Pulls Amanda and Zach out of the shadow to pressure you with adorable puppy-dog eyes****


	10. Phileo and Juliet PART 1

**I only own Sarah. :3**

* * *

"Yeee!" The scream was belted out and only increased in volume as a dark haired young girl came running into the living room, surprising the occupants. Sarah jumped on to the couch right between the married couple and their daughter. "Ye! Ye! YE!" She shrieked as she hopped in a circle on the cushions and then jumped on the floor and lay spread-eagle. All was quiet at the moment as the TV was muted and every Shortman stared at the Bennette. In response to their waiting, she shoved a white paper she had crumpled into her hand across the carpet (barely) and Phil picked it up suspiciously, like it was a bomb.

"What is this?" Mistrust was evident in his tone as he un-crumpled it and read the page.

"Since the elementary school doesn't have enough people participating, we're combining with the high school to put on a play."

"Romeo and Juliet." Phil looked up at her in shock. "This is great! I could direct it!"

"And I can be in it!" She sat up excitedly and leaned in closer to her boyfriend.

"Um, Sarah." Zach butted in almost regretfully. "If _he_ directs it, you wouldn't wanna be in it."

A charcoal brow was raised as she looked from blonde to beau, who was ignoring her and reading over the paper. "I don't even wanna know why. And Mr. Senior would kill you if you even try messing with it, so don't try."

A pouty look was sent up at the girl and her proud and confident stature deteriorated and she slumped. Behind her hair, she added, "But you should try out for Romeo. I'm going for Juliet."

A sharp bark of laughter jerked her head back up to his level. "_Please_. I'd never. Why waste my talents on something that revolves around the thing I detest most?" Phil rolled his eyes at her and managed to miss the hurt expression on his girlfriend's face, before she turned away again.

"Whatever." Her eyes searched the ground before an idea overtook her, fast as lightning, and before she could stop herself, she said, "HAM!"

The startled boy snapped his eyes wide as he looked at the Bennette in panic. "What?" Came his swift reply.

"Be my Romeo!" Everyone's eye brows flew sky high. Had Sarah _really_ just said what they thought she just said? "No, really! You're a freshman; you can be in the play. See?" She snatched the paper out of her shocked lover's hands and thrust it into the jock's.

He scanned the paper and then chuckled. His eyes relaxed back into their normal tired expression as he dismissed her. "Oh, c'mon! You can do this. Trust me!"

"Oh, I probably could." Ham shrugged and looked back at her. "But why should I?"

"Because…." Sarah paused for a moment and was about to reply, when Amanda interrupted.

"It's good for college! It'll put you ahead of the other nerd jocks, by being a DRAMA nerd jock!" The little seven year old bobbed her head in excitement. She could already picture the play across her vision; and she'd be darned if she couldn't be apart of it.

All the while, Phil was watching the events unfolding with a masked face. His expression displayed none of the terror or sudden jealousy he felt. When Ham got the part, and he knew he will, then he'd have to kiss Sarah. Multiple times. And he'd have to be _in love with his Sarah._ No. Just; no. Since Phil knew no one could say no to Sarah for long (why would they want to?) he wasn't surprised when his brother crumpled under the pressure.

"Are you sure?"

Sarah beamed at her elder by three years and hugged him. "Oh, positive! I mean, you already have a great memory, and you retain stuff real easy. Just thinking of it as studying for a test."

Thoughtfulness overtook the lemon headed boy as he actually pondered the possibility. "A test, eh?" He glanced slyly at the girl, who nodded vigorously. "Well… then sure."

That made Phil's blood boil. No matter how much Phillip had known Ham was going to say yes, it was still a shock and betrayal to actually _hear_ him say it. You can _never_ trust anyone now a day.

But that doesn't mean he was giving up. No, quite the opposite in fact. He was going to try his _damndest_ just to make sure Sarah stayed his.

* * *

**A/N: So, yeah. I suck at naming things. AND THIS IS ONLY PART ONE! PARTE UNO! (I doubt that's how you say it xD) **

**So in English class, we're doing Romeo and Juliet. Reading/watching, all that jazz. I have quite a bit of ideas for that, so maybe-just maybe- will I do 5 parts to this, like how the play has 5 acts. At the very least, two. Most likely three. But, hey **shrugs** You never know.**

**So, this arc is dedicated to William Shakespeare, and to Panfla, for reasons she, I, soon to be Supr and next chapter you, to understand. :3**

_**OH! **_

**I have one more request. I am going to be doing a little... cartoon series of the Shortman gang, so I was wondering... do you have any names for a series title? That would be great if you could send it IN WITH YOUR REVIEW! :D**


	11. Poem for the Loved

Eyes of emerald green

Glisten with the dew

Of hardships they have seen

And miseries they never knew.

Why do you hide,

Right in plain view?

I was always on your side

I was always there with you.

Drip drop of a waterfall

Crystalline like a star

Whatever had made you withdrawal,

And make you go so far?

I love you,

But it's a secret,

With that I'll just make-do,

Though it's a secret, can you keep it?

Let's never say adieu.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, it's just a quick little poem I made up right on the spot. From: Sarah; To: Phil. I mean, duh.**

**But I'll be updating the next chapter as soon as I get the thing written. Considering the fact that I started writing it in a notebook... I hate copying things down -_-. But I digress!**** I'll finish that and then the chapter all together and then I have SO many ideas, I can't keep them straight. Oh well. Good for you! Enjoy. **

**Comment.**

**Rate.**

**OH! And Supr & I are doing a Q&A. So ask you're questions to:**

**Me**

**Her**

**Or even one of the characters.**

**Enjoy:3**


	12. Phileo and Juliet PART 2

There was a loud thud as Phil's bag was thrown onto his desk. He fell into his seat with his arms crossed and a sour look painted on his face. There would be auditions tonight and tomorrow at the high school, and Phil knew from Sarah's babble that she and Ham are going back to back tonight, with Phil's brother going first.

"Well, _you're_ in a good mood." Sarah's best friend, Steph Horowitz, observed with heavy sarcasm. She was turned around from her seat in front of him to stare at the Shortman.

Phillip glanced at her. "The best."

Steph huffed her puffy red bangs out of her eyes. "Listen, bucko, whatever is eating at you, don't let Sarah know about it. She's in a good mood and she doesn't need you screwing that up. Got it?" When Phil didn't answer her, she got up and pulled him so his nose was touching hers. "I said, _got it?_" With wide peridot eyes, Phil nodded. "Good." She approved of his answer and flung him backwards. After righting herself with a big flourish, she turned. But as she did that, her hand hit one of her classmate's drinks. The top flew open as it connected with the desk and it gurgles all over Nikole's papers and skirt. The blonde shrieked and stood up with arms flailed. "Oh my gosh!" Steph gasped. "Are you alright?"

Nikky growled and gritted her teeth. It was obvious how forced it was when she smiled and sat down. "I'm alright."

Steph harrumphed and then took her seat. All of the excitement did little for Phil's mood. All _he_ was worried about was beating his brother at auditions. So it was obvious that the rest of the day flew by until lunch.

Phillip stormed from his class to stand in front of the door opposite of his. As he leaned up against the wall moodily, he tried to regain his composure. Never before has he really needed or wanted to control his temper. He might as well start acting now.

As the boy was thinking this, Sarah Bennette glided out of Mr. Waz's classroom and paused in the door way. There he was. Her boyfriend. She wasn't really used to saying it and even though he acted like hated it, she knew deep down her lover liked it. She swooped in and pecked his cheek affectionately and Phil looked at her with the most adorable startled expression ever.

"C'mon you goon. Let's get to lunch before all the pizza is taken." She gripped his wrist and dragged him into the masses.

15 minutes later and $1.50 poorer, the couple sat side by side at the lunch table, with the girl happily nomming on her food. Phil, on the other hand, was picking at it sulkily when he got hit in the back of the head with an orange. "Ow!" He cried in outrage as he violently turned around to find the offender. His green eyes flashed as he beheld an atrocious scene.

Steph was lounging against her table, 4 away from theirs, with her arms were crossed and glaring. She jerked her head back to indicate that he better be getting his butt over there _now_. "Sarah." Phil seethed, leaning down close to his girlfriend, and kept his eyes glued to the red-head. "I'll be back in a minute."

"U-um, okay." She barely managed to get that out by the time he was gone.

Phil rushed to where Steph stood and then when he got there, he didn't stop. He leaned in and trapped her with his body, arms on either side of her. "Listen," He growled and her startled steel eyes widened. "I don't have time for this. I have a girlfriend waiting for me and a plot to scheme so unless if you could help me with that—"

"Actually." Steph interrupted and with one hand, pushed him away from her. "I can. That's why I called you over." Once she knew he was listening, she hopped up on to the table and sat criss-cross. "What you have to do is eliminate your competition. No one knows who's going to try out for Romeo, so afterwards, if they're understudies and ahead of you, just convince them to quit. Your brother, I think, will be most difficult."

"How so?" Phil asked in a guarded tone as he sat on the table beside her. Steph flashed him a 'you've got to be kidding, right?' look.

"Because he's your brother and is used to your craziness. I don't _think_ he'd be much intimidated by you, but I guess I could be wrong."

Phillip snorted. "_Everyone's _intimidated by me!"

A small smile graced the young 10 year old's lips. "Sure Phil. Whatever you say."

~HA!~HA!~HA!~

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun." Ham spoke with soft sincerity and all girls in the auditorium hushed and hung on to one another, while staring at the golden boy in awe.

Phil rolled his eyes. His feet were propped up on the seat in front of him and he was glaring daggers into his stupid lemon-headed brother's face. Beside him, Sarah was anxiously chewing on her lips and tapping the cushion of the seat in front of her with painted nails. Suddenly, she turned and whispered worriedly, "What if I fail?"

"What?" The dark haired youth looked at his girlfriend as if she was crazy.

"What if I fail? I-I could, you know. You and Ham, and _everybody_ did so great. I don't think I'm cut out for this, I don't think I'm—"

"Sarah Bennette?" The director of the play, an old and withered Mr. Simmons called from the front. Said girl glanced at the stage in distraught.

"Sarah, listen." Phil took his lover's face into his hands and she looked at him with an open expression. "You're going to do amazingly. You live for the stage. Don't be afraid. And if you _do_ fail…? Then you fail. Don't let anybody tell you you're bad when you're the best." The Shortman brought her closer and their lips touched again before her name was called a second time.

"Coming!" She called with her face tilted in their direction, but with her golden eyes locked with emerald ones. "I honestly think that's the first time you've used a rant for good."

Phil smirked. "Don't get used to it. Now go. The audience awaits." They kissed again and then she was off.

Sarah paused at the bottom of the stairs before she got enough courage to bring herself to the center of the stage. "I'm going to be doing the part in the play where it's after the party and Juliet is talking about Romeo and how she just rants about how he's a Montague and…" Her face reddened. "I'll just start now." A few chuckles later, she went to work.

A wistful expression hued her features and she sat on the ground, her legs pulled underneath her. "'Tis but thy name that is my enemy, thou art thyself though not a Montague. What is Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man." Through out her monologue she grew increasingly restless, until she finally stood up with arms held high in the air with defeat. As she kept talking, she gestured sometimes to the crowd or to behind the stage or even herself. "Oh, what's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet; so Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection to which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name! And for thy name, which is no part of thee, take all myself."

Applause sounded when the last word escaped her lips and she smiled at the crowd, finally being at ease.

"That is great, Sarah, a real special performance." The director nodded at her in appreciation and the girl smoothly glided down the stairs and into the aisle. After a moment when she was sure most people weren't staring, she jetted down to her boyfriend.

"Oh my gosh! What a rush!" She squealed in hushed tones and Phil pulled her into an enthusiastic hug.

"I know! I honestly felt as though we were in that time period. You were perfect." After pulling away slightly, their faces were mere inches apart.

"Thank you." She breathed. Hesitantly, they leaned in for another kiss, with sparks dancing across one another's lips. When they were just barely touching, they heard an intruding outside voice.

"Oh, er, sorry. I'll just…come back later." Josh 'Ham' Shortman stared down at his little brother and his girlfriend nearly kissing in their seats. They pulled away with a blush, and, trying to rid them of that awkward moment, Sarah stood up and pulled Ham into a tight hug.

"You did great Ham. You totally killed them."

"And I'll kill you." Phil hissed under his breath in a sudden burst of jealousy.

"Huh?" The two swerved from their position in the aisle to look at the young boy in confusion.

"Oh… nothing."

* * *

**A/N: Well, who can guess I didn't know how to end it? ANY WHO I totally just had to add an adorable Phil/Sarah moment in there. Soon, soon my dears, will we finally be able to branch AWAY from just that adorable couple and to the rest of the Shortman family and even introduce some already existing-but-not-yet-in-here characters! Like Bella and Pam. And people! If you like my stories. And Suprs. Check out starrynights1987's two HA! stories! It's like ours. Same characters and everything. I helped edit her second one so it is Writer guaranteed. **

**Go on. Check it. We're done here anyway. **

**But still... Questions people! More questions we get, the more interesting it is. Don't make US come up with some of our own questions. It'll get crazy O.o**

**That's all, so...**

**CHEESE IT!**


	13. Audition

_Breathe!_ Phillip Shortman reminded himself as he casually sauntered up the auditorium steps in front of a room full of watchful eyes. None burned the most than those of his girlfriends', whom he was only doing this for.

"I'm Phillip Shortman and—" He started when Mr. Simmons stopped him.

"Shortman? You aren't related to _Arnold_ Shortman, by any chance, are you?"

Phillip's face hardened at the mention of his father's name. "Yes I am. He's my dad." His face was cut-off of emotion and he noticed his brother Ham in the front seat, giving him an empathetic stare. Phil's face dipped down even more-so into a frown.

"Oh, my!" Simmons clapped his hands once with a gleeful expression. "He was once a _very_ special student of mine! You know, when he was even younger than you, Arnold played—"

"_SO for my audition._" Phil's voice purposely went louder than the teachers, who thankfully got the hint and shut up. Phil huffed a calming breath and scanned the audience calmly. "I would like to audition for the part of Romeo."

"You may begin your special performance." Mr. Simmons nodded at the eleven year old with a slight bitter tone.

"Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn." Phil's voice was smooth and he emphasized where it needed to be and added corresponding bodily movements. When he stilled, people began to clap when he went into an impromptu rant. "And hath it prick like a thorn, shan't it not be hacked off by a friendly dagger? Take love, held close to the devil's bosom, away from mankind and save us from damnation. I shalt rid myself of all of womankind, and Rosaline be shunned to mine eyes, for she doth only a wench."

Phillip swiveled on the balls of his feet to face the audience with a grin and he bowed. His performance was met with confused claps and he rushed down to Sarah. As he passed, he failed to notice his brother face-palm himself.

"Well…." Mr. Simmons murmured as he took down notes on his clipboard. On the top he wrote in bold with extra underlines: _**NOT TO BE ROMEO!**_ "That truly was a… _special_ performance."

* * *

**A/N: Yeah. This was just a quick filler on what Phil's audtion _actually_ was like. So um... **sips coffee** Yeah.**

**Review. I never usually ask for it but g'ddarn. It's an uneven number O.o it's driving me INSANE. I hate it. Fix? :( **

**QUESTIONS! Q&A, people, we need more questions.**

**And check out starrynights1987's fanfiction. Same character, good plot-lines, Writer-edited and Supr-approved! GO READ!**

**(After you review, a'course :3)**


	14. Allergies

Sarah plopped down in her seat beside Phil in lunch. She glanced at him and sighed almost longingly. He had immersed himself in a book he probably had to read for English. Or maybe just for his own time. Who knows?

Scooching as close to the woman-hater as she dared, she murmured, "Hey Phil?"

The dark-haired Shortman grunted, and barely glanced at the Bennette over his page turning. "What do you want?" He asked coolly.

The girl gulped and shakily asked, "Do you want a piece of gum?" His eyes flashed up and his back straightened.

"Why, that depends. What flavor?"

"Strawberry!" She smiled at him but her face fell when Phillip's face closed off. A disgusted scowl crossed his features and scoffed at her.

"Strawberry? Are you _mad_? I'm allergic! Are you _trying_ to kill me?"

Sarah blinked twice and looked down, pulling the chair a bit away from him. "No. I'm sorry; I didn't know."

Phillip sighed. Stupid girl. Stupid conscious. Stupid football-headed father who _gave_ him that stupid conscious. "Sorry for snapping. It's not my fault you're an oblivious idiot. I usually have low tolerance around stupid people." He glanced up into her golden shocked eyes. He winced. That was smooth, Shortman. _Real_ smooth. "But, um, do you have any mint gum?"

The girl looked away, embarrassed. "N-no. I've never had mint gum."

Green eyes blinked at the brown haired girl as he looked at her as if she was crazy. "Never had…? _Everyone_ has had mint gum! What, do you live under a rock? Are you a freak?"

Biting her lip, the ten year old turned and glared at the boy beside her. "No, actually, I just don't like mint that much, respectively."

Phil snorted. "Respectively? And how do you know you don't like mint if you've never tried it? Are you psychic?" He mocked her. Sarah stood up suddenly and in a moment, her face was within inches of the guy whom she had a crush on.

"Actually, no. I'm _allergic_ to mint, so I'm sorry if I didn't feel like dying!" She spun around and grabbed her black tin lunch box. She started to walk away when she paused and said, "I'll bring a different flavor for you tomorrow. Do you like tropical?"

With out fully turning around, the Bennette looked over her shoulder with hardened eyes. Phillip had been ram-rod still since the face-within-inches-of-my-face thing. He nodded quickly and precisely.

"Good." With that, the girl moodily walked over to her best friend's table.

"Weirdo." Green eyes were tossed back into a crazy little head as Phil went back to his food. For a reason he just couldn't explain, his face felt really hot. _Huh_, he thought. _Must be from the strawberry gum she was chewing._

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, _sure_ Phil. _That's_ the reason. So, in a completely unrelated little drabble to the Phileo and Juliet thing... I give you _Allergies_. So, we all basically have allergies, right? What are yours? (And before you ask... NA-NA-NANA-NA! I don't _have_ allergies! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

**So... yeah. Nothing more to really say. Except I'll start the next chapter for the Phileo thing soon enough! **audience gasps** Yeah, no, I haven't started it yet. No, um, inspiration? **smiles and acts like I'm not overflowing with ideas right now****


	15. Phileo and Juliet PART 3 ACT 1

"Alright, kids! Just sit on the edge of the stage!" Mr. Simmons called out in vain. A whole stew of ages and grades were lounging all over the auditorium and Mr. Simmons tried to get control over them. Next to him, Pam rolled her eyes and walked right into the middle of where the pit would be.

"_Listen up!"_ She screeched and everyone immediately quieted and went still. The redhead sent a small, smug smile over to the director and then surveyed the students. "Everyone, on the edge of the stage _now._" Without delay, everyone scrambled to obey.

Pamella turned and walk back beside Mr. Simmons who was pouting slightly. "There you go, sir!"

"Why, well, thank you Pam. You're a very special little helper." The elder looked vaguely distressed for a moment that the kids just never listened, no matter what generation, but he shook it off and cheerily went to stand where Pam stood. Perhaps the reason they listened to her was because of her position in the room. Yeah. That was it! "So kids, everyone just grab a chair and sit in a semi-circle. And then we'll begin our very special first reading!"

And just like that, people were sitting in a semi-circle, and Simmons gazed on in amazement. It was _definitely_ because of the position in the room. "Alright, guys, let's start by saying our names and then our grade and part. Okay?" Pam snapped and glared at everyone in the circle. Automatically, they nodded their heads furtively. "I'll start." Popping a lollipop out of her mouth, she smiled and said, "Hello. I'm Pam, and I'm a junior. I'll be the head stage manager." At that point, she elbowed Zach, whom was sitting lazily at her right, in the stomach. His body snapped to attention and he whipped his head around to glare at the girl. Pam smirked at him and said, "You're next."

"Hello, mortals. I'm Zachary Shortman, alias Sir Epic. I'm in the same grade as this gremlin here," He jabbed his thumb at Pam who glared at him mercilessly as chuckles spread throughout the group. "And I'm co-stage manager." With a huge hand motion, he passed the spotlight on to the person beside him to continue the chain.

And on the chain went, and it went smoothly, too. After the whole 'introducing' thing, they went on to read over the script.

"Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries, that thou hast done me; therefore turn and draw." Phil murmured his part and then turned his eyes from the paper to his brother to glare. Many people who saw this probably thought he was playing the part. Suckers.

"I do protest, I never injured thee, but love thee better than thou canst devise, till thou shalt know the reason of my love: And so, good Capulet,-which name I tender as dearly as my own,-be satisfied." 'Romeo' finished his lines in a monotone, not caring about the emotion of it just yet, and internally stressing over how he was going to juggle studying the lines, for his biology test and his sports. Ham looked up at that moment when he noticed a scorching hot gaze of someone staring daggers at him, to find that it was his brother. Ham chuckled then. _Huh_, he thought. _Phil really _is_ a dedicated actor!_

While the actor who played Mercutio was in the middle of their lines, something finally clicked in Phil's mind. "Whoa, wait!" He called out and glanced at everyone's startled faces. "Mercutio is a guy, right?"

"Why, yes, that is his very special gender." Mr. Simmons replied. _I swear to God, if he says 'special' one more time…_ Phil thought in anger as he suppressed a sigh.

"Well, then, Collette, why are _you_ playing it?" All eyes turned to the girl in question and an unmistakable blush ripped across her cheeks.

"Because I wanted to, geekbait, now shut up before I make you!" The blue clad girl snapped and whence everyone was silent, she finished her line.

"Well, that was interesting…."

"What did I say about shutting up, you neurotic, crazy, son of a—"

~HA!~HA!~HA!~

"Sarah!" Bella whined for the umpteenth time as she strode into her elder sister's red bedroom. Bella always found it funny that Sarah wore green but her room was all '_Red red red'._

Sarah held back the desire to punch someone in the face before she put on a small smile to turn to the blonde. "Yes Bells? You know I'm trying to memorize my lines."

"Yeah, well, I _know_, but…." Bella stuck out her lower lip and scuttled over to where her sister was lying on her bed. "I was kinda wanting to make cookies. Wanna make cookies?" The girl had paused a moment after her statement to ask the question with pleading eyes. Unfortunately for her, Sarah wasn't always effected by them.

"I have to go to the Shortman household soon, hon, I can't."

"You _always_ choose Phil over me! _It's not fair!_" Bella snapped and swiveled. The seven year old attempted to stomp out of the room before Sarah caught her from behind to spin her around. When Bella was a giggling mess, Sarah put her down and looked her in the eye.

"Listen, kid. That's not true. You're my sister. I'll _always_ choose you, okay? But sometimes I have responsibilities and—"

"—and when you make a promise, you've got to stick with it." Bella rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. Whatever." The older girl smiled almost sadly at her sister and kissed her cheek, standing up.

"Good." Compulsively leaning down, the elder pulled at the bottom of Bella's striped shirt to take out the crinkles and added, "Plus, I'm not there to see Phil. I'm going for Ham."

Bella blinked dumbly. And then she blinked again. "Oh… Okay." With that, the girl exited with a slight bounce in her feet.

"Women." Sarah rolled her eyes good-heartedly after witnessing this and then stopped as a look of horror crashed her features. "Oh god… I've been hanging out with Phil _way_ too much." Lunging and grabbing her copy of Romeo and Juliet, Sarah started for the door.

* * *

**A/N: Munchkin. "You neurotic, crazy son of a _Munchkin_." That's believable, right?**

**AN UPDATE! WHOOOOOO! Well, this is only part one of part three. And it's unreasonably short. Sorry for that, but I felt like I owe you something. Also, Pam, Collette and Bella appear in this chapter! Yay! Pam is owned by Panfla (And I think SuprSingr too...), Collette is the creation of FnFiNdOART, and Bella is all Starrynights1987! I hope I did them justice ^.^ **

**Totally un-beta'd btw. Didn't check over for errors. I never do. Otherwise I'd delete the whole thing. We wouldn't want THAT now, would we?**

**Reviews are splendid darlings. :3**

**TOTALLY makes me write faster.**


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